Snowflakes

I love working with snowflakes. I have been working with teens and young twenty somethings more often. Most of the teens I work with come from middle class families; therefore, their lives have been rather easy, with all their basic needs taken care of. They spend to much of their time in their rooms, particularly during covid, using social media and playing video games. Besides having most of their basic needs taken care of they have created rather bad habits that are not conducive to growth and social support. They go outside much less than before, they isolate from family, and worry about what they are going to do when they leave the home. Anxiety is often high. Occasionally they are asked/told to come to therapy by a parent. Just as with any client, I will not see them unless they choose to be there and participate in therapy. Recently, young clients choose to be there and have been highly engaged. Some stop after a shorter number of sessions than most clients. My work with clients is aggressive and it may be to much for their developmental stage. I often label them as being snowflakes, not a diagnostic identification in the DSM-5 of course, but a description of those who have never been challenged by real life. It is surprising how much they identify with the label and the impact it has. It is characterized by a lack of resilience, since they have rarely been challenged to deal with responsibility for themselves or others. They are highly insecure socially; although, I have often found them to be better communicators verbally than I expected. They are naive to basic developmental changes of teens and sexually naive, with significant false information about their peers. Identifying them as snowflakes has supported them in taking more responsibility and placing less blame on their parents or guardians. The benefit of working with young people is that if they are engaged change can happen quickly. If they get on the right path when they are young they have the ability to thrive much earlier and have a greater impact with those they interact with. They can take on greater challenges where more risk is acceptable and leave the snowflake label behind.

How difficult is it to succeed?

The secret to being successful is being grounded in the present, be passionate about your task, and taking reasonable risks. Life becomes much easier when you are not carrying the past with you. Past trauma, anxiety, need for attachment, addiction, distractions and disregulation require energy to repress them. It takes energy that makes it difficult to focus on present tasks. Being able to focus allows one to process, problem solve, communicate, analyze, or create as needed. If you are successful at these tasks you are much more likely to have the confidence to follow your path towards your goals. Because there is such a large part of our society that is not able to be in the present the opportunity to succeed is there for those willing to focus their attention on tasks presented to them. With all the opportunities that exist today and the extraordinary need for talent, there are opportunities for success in every direction in the fields that are desperate for talent and people willing to work.

One of the most difficult challenges to being grounded in the present is the increasing problem with addiction. Addiction is becoming an acceptable mode of functioning. The use of cell phones is no longer for person to person communication. It has been corrupted by social media, gaming, and the constant notification from news organizations and contacts providing the most recent emotional stimulus. The development and design of digital content is to bring about immediate reward. A necessary part of a psychological assessment today is to identify the amount of time clients spend daily on their “cell phones” or with gaming. Self reporting for cell phone usage is just as unreliable as self reporting for quantity of alcohol consumed. All addictions inhibit the ability to be in the present, to have a balanced life, and consequently the ability to succeed.

The use of marijuana is becoming socially acceptable in our society and is readily available. Here in Alaska it is readily available in your neighborhood cannibas store, through friends and the common local dealers. It has become so acceptable that many professionals are not concerned with the effect it has on their ability to function. It is not unusual to see consumers leave their identifiable business vehicle to enter a cannabis store. The need to meet the needs of an addiction overrides all other needs and drives. Habitual use of marijuana has a significant effect that has not been sufficiently examined, It has been my experience that habitual cannabis users have significant difficulty processing past elements that are necessary for change and I am not interested in having habitual users of marijuana as clients.

Todays workers have many addictions. Addiction to social media, gaming, marijuana, alcohol, pornography ; all, make it much more difficult to carry out the functions necessary for success in the workplace, creative endeavors and in relationships. This provides a multitude of opportunities for those who are grounded in the present to succeed with little competition.