I regularly hear a client say “There is something wrong with me”. Usually I find that it is because they feel they are different than everyone else they know or from someone of influence who reacts with the world differently. Multimedia has compounded this believe.
Being different is what makes us unique, interesting, and of value to our family, friends, peers, and the career we choose. It is wonderful being able to see the uniqueness of clients who are becoming comfortable in their minds and bodies. One of the goals of therapy is to be able to embrace ones uniqueness. It is what makes us interesting to others and allows us to have a voice and be ourselves. When you are given permission to be yourself and have individual thoughts, beliefs and ideals your are more valuable to those around you unless they are threatened by someone who thinks and feels differently. Those who are not comfortable being around someone who is unique are threatened by their own uncertain feelings, negative beliefs and fear of not being included.
It is all too common today for group identity and feelings of acceptance to be influenced by drugs and alcohol. It is sad that people lose themselves through drugs to be part of a collective. It is particularly sad when you have the opportunity to see someone’s uniqueness and find they struggle for self identity at the same time they are on a path towards mediocrity because of the amount of time they spend intentionally separating themselves from reality. It makes it impossible for them to do work in therapy or to be present in the world around them.
Being able to see that the goal of therapy is to peel away the layers that interfere with our being able to be authentic selves is the goal and not to be fixed. That allows us to be content in present time.