Anger is by far the easiest emotion to express. Many couples I have worked with find anger to be the primary barrier to being able to trust each other. It makes it nearly impossible to deal with conflict and gets in the way of being able to feel love and affection. Individuals who have learned to shut off feeling emotion usually do so to protect themselves from environments where the emotional energy of the home or environment they live in is negative and where it can not be safely expressed. It is an appropriate coping mechanism often used by children resulting in the parent saying their child never listens to them. One of the consequences to this is that it is difficult to be able to let down defenses and be connected with those who mean the most to us. One of the challenges of counseling is to overcome the lack of trust individuals have in others and particularly to being vulnerable with emotions. Dependents who have had to repress anger around a parent or caregiver usually have excess anger stored in their body. Often times attachment issues are present and the significant other, being the one who means the most to them, presents the greatest potential for loss. It can easily cause major damage to a relationship or family unless one learns to effectively live with the emotional self.
A path to wholeness