I often hear clients tell me they want to volunteer. Volunteering can be rewarding and an indication of a healthy society; however, it is often the last thing someone needs to be doing if they are challenged by taking care of themselves. If the client is not taking care of himself, but wants to focus their attention on others, volunteering can have a detrimental effect on being able to move forward. They often have difficulty identifying and establishing goals and are not willing to experience the distress that comes with being vulnerable enough to take risks. There is generally a negative belief that they are not worthy of putting themselves first and taking care of their own needs. Instead, they often have a history of spending many hours helping others, but go without themselves. Typically, their defense mechanism is one of shutting down their emotional self, but yet carry the burdens of others. With proper support it is necessary for them to become vulnerable to their own distress and find ways to take care of their personal, emotional, and physical needs and give themselves permission to do so.
A path to wholeness